This is the laser camera that tells the story for the shipwrights rescuing ‘Victory’ from rotting away before our very eyes. It scans the ship inside and out, building up a ghostly image of her structure, identifying where work on her is needed – at this point in time, on the ribs of the ship, “futtocks” confusingly being part of a rib. No I don’t understand it either, but no-one working on ‘Victory’ was ever quite able to explain it to me, leaving us with a potential problem for scripting our next film – which now won’t happen, scroll up. It seems a shame, though, that the word never found its way onto the lips of Rambling Sid Rumpo, the bucolic master of double-entendre as played by Kenneth Williams in radio’s ‘Round the Horne’. Or maybe it did and I missed it.